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Review
Smile, ya son of a bitch! – Roy Schneider, “Jaws”
Super human wonder-woman Lara Croft holds her breath for about four hours as TR2’s treasure hunt becomes a deeply dippy aquatic free-for-all down in some of planet Earth’s most depressing bum-holes. 40 Fathoms, you say? It almost took me 40 lung-exploding deaths before I could fathom what was going on. I thought at first I’d dropped into a Sonic the Hedgehog style mini game in-between levels. Hell, I think I spent at least twenty seconds paddling around looking for gold rings. But then the nausea came along, telling me I WAS in a proper level, and that I was probably going to have to explore every centimeter of the entire Atlantic bloody northern seabed in order to find Lara a way out of stum. Going back up the surface wasn’t an option. Someone, it turned out, had kindly lain a huge black canvas out across the surface of the water, rendering it impossible for the snorkel-less swimmer to nip back up top for a bit of air. Perhaps I’m being stupid though? Perhaps there was no giant canvas sheet? Perhaps I was just in a giant cave or something, and that my ascent to fresh air was blocked off by a dark cave roof? Makes sense, until you start to wonder how the diving vessel got to where it was. Well, who knows? If imbecile-face hadn’t crashed the damn thing in the first place, maybe we wouldn’t be in such a situation.
(but before you think I don’t like 40 Fathoms…..)
The initial swim for air in this level is one of the all-time classic TR moments. It’s sister level, “Deepsea dive”, is just shoddy in comparison. Yeah it can be frustrating when you first doggy-paddle around not knowing what to do. But the area isn’t as big as you first think it is, and once you’ve discovered the small hole in the side of the overturned Maria Doria, you’ll miss about five thousand heartbeats trying to out-think the shark. It’s a terrifyingly claustrophobic passage of play, and one which doesn’t get easier the more you play it. Sharks haven’t been used that often in the series. But even with that in mind, it’s still easy to forget this is the first ever appearance by one. To steal a character name from Banjo Kazooie, let’s name our Neil Armstrong of the TR-shark population, “Snacker”. Now then, Snacker might not be able to operate underwater AND on land, like the alligators can. However, like the rest of his own kind he can take twice as many hits. And this can make the sharks tough to kill in situations where only your ****py little harpoon gun is available to you. Additionally, Snacker and his buddies usually tend to be surrounded by a bunch of rather ugly looking but dangerous giant eels.
You know, I’d be willing to put money on 40 Fathoms being voted the least decent of the four Poseidon Adventure Playground levels. Doing that though wouldn’t be showing appreciation for what you have to admit is a quite a rarity in TR2 – a low key level with less emphasis on shooting thugs and more on…..other things. I’m sure from my recollection there’s only about seven necessary kills to make, and two of those are in the final reel. True, it’s a small level. But you could still spend half an hour slaving over it. Depends on your speed. There isn’t any of the standard back-tracking though, or rendezvousing with earlier parts of the level. 40 Fathoms is just a straightforward trip from the beginning of something to the other end of something else. What that something actually is, god only only knows. You see, Lara doesn’t enter the Maria Doria over the wooden gangway on the docks, like all the other paying customers. She enters it in a similar kind of pointlessly unconventional fashion to which Tim Robins leaves Shawshank. And as a result, the environments unfolding around each corner are just as bewildering to us as the mid-level appearance of yet another ruddy timed flame run. Incidentally, you’d think the ocean would be a good place to get away from them wouldn’t you? Well, obviously not.
In consideration of the level that follows this one, I often wonder if 40 Fathoms is supposed to be upside down or not. The obvious answer is yes. But if that’s the case then why aren’t the levers upside down? (or maybe they are?). Why would flames come through grates on what previously would have been the ceiling? You could ask quite a few questions like this. And if your view is of the opposite opinion, you could ask quite a few questions which point to the other eventuality, too. If you pointed a harpoon gun at my head and told me to make up my mind, I think I’d claim the level is meant to be upside down. But as with the dark cave roof/black canvas, there’s still the potential to make your own mind up either way and not be wrong.
For some strange reason, Lara opts to wander around the underwater levels bare foot. You might argue she has no choice in the matter given her forced means of escape from the oil rig. However, to say that her plight is simply an unfortunate blow from the god circumstance would be untrue. Why doesn’t she just steal the footwear of one of the thugs she shoots? Even if the first few don’t share her size, you’d have to think she’d find one that would eventually. I mean we’re talking close to a hundred thugs she has to kill in order to bypass this mammoth four level section. If it was me I’d probably be prepared to wear trainers a size too big or small for me. Better that than spend four of five hours trampling over rocks, splinters, crooked floorboards, and dead flame-thrower men. Use some sense Lara.
The final section of the level, that involving the release and destruction of several tons of rogue debris, is that of which you feel the most sorry for a person having to go about their work with no shoes on. If you can block your senses from that though, the standard TR game-play incorporated into the garbage disposal business can be quite absorbing. There’s also a touch of the creepy added to proceedings due to distant breath of a frogman, who like all his watery friends tends to impose himself on more scenes he isn’t in than he is. Wouldn’t it be great if we could watch Snacker take a lump out of him? 7/10
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Scores
Best part – The swim at the beginning. Has to be
Worst part – Funnily enough, the same swim. It daunted me enough to put my pad down for two days when I first played this game. And as an old England manager might say – “Do I not like that”.
Secrets – 3/3 good ones. I’m glad there isn’t one in the ocean at the beginning. That would just be infuriating. The one with the hidden lever is a carbon copy of a secret from Bartoli’s Hideout, yet still scores because it has a certain charm to it that I can’t quite be bothered to explain. Secret #1 is ****, but makes me laugh thinking back to it because of that irritating creaking noise from beneath the trapdoor. #3 presents an interesting laziness dilemma, so that scores too.
The 100th link I came across when I typed “40 Fathoms” into the Google search engine
http://www.sarockdigest.com/albumcov...lbums_1_10.htm
It's the top 10 album covers or something. At number 3 you'll notice our link record - Fathoms of Fire, by Dog Detachment. The way they've put 'Fathoms' and 'Fire' in the same sentence is quite amusing, I think.
This level is most like.....
Deepsea Dive
Deepsea Dive - Crap
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