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Review
(Last time on "Sunset-Raider-Eldorado" - Bartoli confronted Lara about her motives for selling her shares in the riverboat, Pierre feared his new Suzuki speedboat might be beseeched with the ancient Shai-Shai-Katah curse, and Natla gave Larson an ultimatum ; either the penguins move out of the apartment or she does! What will happen this week?)
It was always going to come down to either Leeds or London, and in the end you just knew they were going to get all nationally pompous on us and go for boring old London. Yes, London, with it’s stupid royal palace, and its expensive parking, and its giant indoor vats filled with places you could quite easily slip and break your neck. Set an entire fifth of a Tomb Raider game there? What the hell were they thinking? I’m telling you, we ought to keep an eye on those Core people, or next thing you know they’ll be setting an entire game in Egypt or something.
Thames Wharf might be not be as aesthetically beautiful to look at is it no doubt would have been had they set it in Leeds, but Lara wears PVC the WHOLE time you’re playing, so it actually really isn’t that bad. Even the normally grotesque save game crystals shine pleasingly for once against the dingy dark backdrops of rusting scaffolding, decaying architecture, rotting buildings, rat-infested gutters, and torrential London rain. Oh ok, I’ll stop with my bashing of the capital. What I’m trying to say is that this isn’t such a bad a setting for a Tomb Raider level as it might first appear. I’d actually go as far to say the London section as a whole is my favourite of the game (which has nothing to do with that pile of poop, Lud’s gate)
We begin on a rooftop. No-one knows how we got there, but that’s where we begin all the same. The path then takes us down to some vats, back up to the rooftop again, and finally through a deserted cathedral bit. It’s a rather dangerous place to be finishing the level because Lara can quite easily plummet two hundred and fifty five million floors down to her death if you’re not careful. And all the king’s horses and all the king’s men can’t put her back together again under those circumstances. The re-load option can, though, so we’re ok..
(When it was announced that pre-production for TR3 was underway during early 1998, the "Lara for Leeds" campaign reached fever pitch)
The level will always remain notorious in my Tomb Raidering life for the simple fact it was the first one I ever needed a walkthrough for. I blitzed TR1 and 2 in eight weeks total during the early stages of the year 2000, not needing any help whatsoever in the process. Then I came to TR3 and slowly realized I wasn’t as good as I thought I was. I can’t remember the exact date I finally conceded defeat to Thames Wharf, but it was definitely the same weekend Ipswich beat Barnsley in the 2000 First Division playoff final. I distinctly recall the radio commentry from Wembley going on in the background as I ran around the vat area getting frustrated. Anyway, just thought I’d share.
This is gradually becoming more of a “Did you know?” exercise rather than an actual analysis, but I also feel compelled to comment on the short cut culture embedded into this level. There is disappointly not only one way you can cheat to prosper, but two. The first (in the order I discovered them) can be accomplished courtesy of dropping down by the side of the rooftop grate fire, when I presume it was intended you first run around for a while trying to find a way to turn it off. The second cheat route is ten times more serious. I won’t go into as much detail about that one. However, I will just say that if you make use of it you will probably shave about 99% off your final level time. Such huge rips in the level’s timeline really ought to be stitched back up during testing of the game prior to release. For the record, I actually did the grate fire thing thinking I was on the intended track during that walloping Ipswich handed to Barnsley.
Yet another bizarre phenomenon comes to the fore with the existance of the fabled Cathedral key. Was I the only one who ran around for hours trying to find a place to use it? Silly me for not realizing the full extent of its uselessness. We eventually discover through forum hearsay of course that it is meant to resemble some sort of symbolic entry ticket to the bonus level All Hallows. Mystery solved then, until you realise it is perfectly possible (and even probable) you will finish the game with the key in your pocket and still not be allowed into the bonus level. “Hallowed-be-thy-bullpoo”?
If all this doesn’t make Thames Wharf the most bizarre level in Tomb Raider history, you haven’t heard the best part yet. I don’t know how many people have ever discovered this, but there is an absolutely horrendous detour of a dead end you can voyage down. Take your memory back to that 3rd vat room, the one with the monkey swing overhead. Only thing is, first time through the game I didn’t spot the monkey swing at all. Oh don’t laugh! I was distracted. I had the playoff final on in the background. The FINAL! It was important! Ok, it wasn’t important enough for me to turn off Tomb Raider 3 and devote my ‘full’ attention to it, but it was still important!
Anyway, as the result of my not noticing the monkey swing (I mean, it's for monkeys!), I had the brainwave of falling a hundred yards down into that tiny pool next to the wall, which you may remember still resides at the bottom of the 3rd vat prior to you refilling it. The potential for having discovered a 3rd cheat route could have befallen me. However, once I had swam through to the marble hall room, I found myself standing in four feet of water and unable to get up to where you have to go next. Has anyone else ever done this? I’m not lying when I tell you I waded around in that room for hours looking for a way out. What a waste of my time! I was going to provide a screenshot in order for you all to view this, but the initial fall over the 3rd vat’s fence can take a while to perfect, and me and Nicky couldn’t agree on a fee.
The level enemies come in the form of machine gun wielding terrorists. Nothing peculiar there, except for the way they all insist on firing just one more bullet after you kill them. This must be the improved enemy A.I we were promised.
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Articulate and creatively minded game designer #1 - "How can we improve the enemy A.I with the new Tomb Raider game?"
Articulate and creatively minded game designer #2 - "Well, after they die, I was thinking they could fire one last bullet into Lara before they....completely die, kinda like you see in the movies sometimes. What was that film with Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren in it?"
Articulate and creatively minded game designer #1 - "Universal Soldier?"
Articulate and creatively minded game designer #2 - "Yeah that’s the one. Well, it could be kinda like that. Lara kills the terrorist, but before he dies, he shows some never-seen-before-in-a-video-game intelligence and fires one last bullet".
Articulate and creatively minded game designer #1 - "Quickly nipping to the hospital in order to save himself would be more intelligent".
Articulate and creatively minded game designer #2 - "Yeah, but he's not going to do that. He's dying"
Articulate and creatively minded game designer #1 - "Lara could take him!"
Articulate and creatively minded game designer #2 - "What??? Lara's on a mission! She hasn't got time to be taking terrorists to the hospital!"
Articulate and creatively minded game designer #1 - "Well...she could do it after the mission"
Articulate and creatively minded game designer #2 - "She'll be in the feckin' Antartica by then! Exactly how slowly do you think a terrorist can die?"
Articulate and creatively minded game designer #1 - "He could perform emergency first aid on himself until she gets back, hence his new improved A.I"
Articulate and creatively minded game designer #2 - "And Lara's going to perform this good deed for all of Thames Wharf's walking wounded I presume? Oh Yah. I can totally imagine the look on the hospital receptionist's face when Croft turns up with a bus full of wounded terrorists, crows, and rats!"
Articulate and creatively minded game designer #1 - (Gulp) Only thinking out of the box"
Articulate and creatively minded game designer #2 - "Well don't. We're going with the one last bullet thing".
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I actually find Thames Wharf’s mixture of terrorists, security guards, crows, and rats to be rather enjoyable hunting, to be fair. There are other inclusions to the gameplay I can praise, too. I love the switches hidden behind armoured glass idea. It’s tantalising. I also have plenty of time for the crazed machine thing that goes out of control (you know the one). All in all, if you can ignore the rough edges, Thames Wharf is an atmospheric and rather clever little trip through some of London’s more pleasant scenary. Hehe. 8/10
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